The most interesting character on Succession is Tom Wambsgans (Donât worry, there will be no spoilers). Tom is a self-described âPain Sponge.â His value is to absorb pain, to do what his superiors donât want to do. He even volunteers to go to prison! Â
âPain spongeâ hits close to home. My entire corporate career was not about producing value but absorbing pain.
Think about it, staying late for the sake of facetime, whatâs the point? Whatâs the point in making elaborate slides and presentations when no one reads them? Whatâs the point in making decisions with models that have no basis in reality?
When a culture is not based on producing value, but instead on appearances, the only way to assert a hierarchy is by applying pain. And the only way to move up the hierarchy is by absorbing pain. Â
Itâs a hazing culture. My boss went through it, so I had to go through it.
I not only became accustomed to the pain, I began to think it was normal. And I became brainwashed into thinking that not only is absorbing pain a valuable skill, but that it was my only valuable skill. My value proposition was âI can do anything for you faster and better than anyone else.â The charitable term is âManaging Up.â
Work became synonymous with pain and I gradually became numb to it. I absorbed pain when at work and wrung it out on nights and weekends. The constant cycle of pain absorption and dispersal meant that Pain Sponge became my identity.
Whenever I wanted to leave my job, I blanked on what else I could do. The first step of finding a new career was to list out my skills. As I went through this exercise, all of the skills I could think of led back to being a Pain Sponge. I wasnât producing anything, I was just making someone elseâs life easier.
Because I wasnât producing value, I felt I wasnât valuable.
I finally left finance without a plan. It took a while, but through Write of Passage Iâve discovered the value I can bring through giving feedback and through Small Bets, Iâve found a way to experiment with new ways of giving value.
Leaving my career has given me a new perspective. Itâs forced me to understand what I want. I still look to provide value by helping other people, but itâs the people that I want to serve, itâs the problems that I want to solve. Â
Discoveries:
1ď¸âŁ
writes about internal value and external equity, how your company perceives your value versus how other possible employers value you. ÂThis is a great and valuable take. But I think Edward misses a key factor: Do you value how your equity is measured? If your equity is based on the fact that youâre a Pain Sponge, how do you feel about that?
đ External vs Internal Career Equity
2ď¸âŁ
writes about work-life balance. More precisely, how itâs a false dichotomy. He says, âWe have only one life, and work is part of it. Any separation is delusional to our detriment.âđ Why I Quit
Quote of the Week:
âI don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.â â Joseph Conrad
Something Fun:
You can find more of my writing at chr.iswong.com.
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Leaving you in peace,
Chris
Someone needs to put up posters in front of every university career center: âAre you a pain sponge?â with arrows to the right recruiting companies
Wow. "Pain sponge" hits hard. I suspects it's almost all of office jobs.