The last two weeks we discussed how the opposite of Purpose is boredom and the opposite of Mastery is rigidity. Finally, the opposite of Autonomy is mimesis.
Loved this piece, Chris. I was on autopilot a lot and perhaps some of it was peer pressure. I'm still not there at the point where I can be fully aware of where a desire comes from. Btw, my uncle is a prof at Columbia :)
I remember a prof Sundaresan back when I was there myself. He was teaching a derivatives course at the business school. One of the most popular courses, everybody wanted in. Is he your uncle?
I heard my daughter echo “I want to go to school in a city, New York is the best city, and Columbia is the best school in that city.” I’m sharing this piece of wisdom with her :)
Chris, I want to talk about this. It's right out of my last year of life. I am using a bit different terminology in my teaching: authenticity/autonomy/freedom; hypocrite/actor; intuition/spirit/heart/mind; fear/bondage/culture.
Really liked reading this, Chris. Mimesis as a way that we make decisions is such an interesting perspective. Something I've observed, but good to put a name to it.
This was a juicy statement! "Now, it's not possible to not be mimetic. If you choose to do things because people don't want to do them, you're still letting other people dictate your desires".
I wonder if there's an antidote, which is to make our decisions through the lens of what's important to us, like our values and our fundamental needs? I think that can speak to the autonomy.
I'd also offer a distinction between what we want, and what we need. We might want a promotion, but we wouldn't say that we need one. Wanting and needing are different, particularly when we've got what we wanted (the promotion), and it doesn't meet our expectations. We have less time, we have to travel more, we have more stress. If, in addition to asking when we want, we temper it by asking that aligns with what we need (things like appreciation, collaboration, wellbeing, certainty), then we might discover what we truly desire.
I went to Columbia too, my Junior year. My dad studied Nuclear Engineering at Columbia. My daughter refused to apply and graduated from NYU--anti-mimetic decision!
I feel this gets worse the longer your career becomes, especially if you career pathways are obvious or is celebrated. A higher status job often seems to lead to more misery, and in return the pay justifies this.
I feel I have striven for things then let them go, only to realise that I fell for it again and again. Hopefully getting wiser still!
Loved this piece, Chris. I was on autopilot a lot and perhaps some of it was peer pressure. I'm still not there at the point where I can be fully aware of where a desire comes from. Btw, my uncle is a prof at Columbia :)
I remember a prof Sundaresan back when I was there myself. He was teaching a derivatives course at the business school. One of the most popular courses, everybody wanted in. Is he your uncle?
That would be him , Silvio :)
What a nice coincidence :)
What if I want to be like you? 🤠
hahaha
Does that please you? Or someone else? The way I interpret this essay if being like Chris pleases you, do it.
I think there's some nuance there but that's the concept. Although you need to layer in some ethics
I heard my daughter echo “I want to go to school in a city, New York is the best city, and Columbia is the best school in that city.” I’m sharing this piece of wisdom with her :)
Hahah. I mean, it was a great place to go to school. I just wish I was more aware when I decided to go there
Chris, I want to talk about this. It's right out of my last year of life. I am using a bit different terminology in my teaching: authenticity/autonomy/freedom; hypocrite/actor; intuition/spirit/heart/mind; fear/bondage/culture.
What a fantastic series - still thinking about it days after reading it!
Thanks! Writing about it has helped me to think about it.
Really liked reading this, Chris. Mimesis as a way that we make decisions is such an interesting perspective. Something I've observed, but good to put a name to it.
This was a juicy statement! "Now, it's not possible to not be mimetic. If you choose to do things because people don't want to do them, you're still letting other people dictate your desires".
I wonder if there's an antidote, which is to make our decisions through the lens of what's important to us, like our values and our fundamental needs? I think that can speak to the autonomy.
I'd also offer a distinction between what we want, and what we need. We might want a promotion, but we wouldn't say that we need one. Wanting and needing are different, particularly when we've got what we wanted (the promotion), and it doesn't meet our expectations. We have less time, we have to travel more, we have more stress. If, in addition to asking when we want, we temper it by asking that aligns with what we need (things like appreciation, collaboration, wellbeing, certainty), then we might discover what we truly desire.
Confusing wants and needs is definitely a problem. The problem of mimesis is compounded when you turn mimetic wants into needs.
This week's issue may touch on the antidote, or at least how to navigate.
I went to Columbia too, my Junior year. My dad studied Nuclear Engineering at Columbia. My daughter refused to apply and graduated from NYU--anti-mimetic decision!
Thanks Chris!
I feel this gets worse the longer your career becomes, especially if you career pathways are obvious or is celebrated. A higher status job often seems to lead to more misery, and in return the pay justifies this.
I feel I have striven for things then let them go, only to realise that I fell for it again and again. Hopefully getting wiser still!
Thanks for sharing this important piece!
The feeling of sunk cost definitely builds up as time goes on