A couple of weeks ago I competed in my first Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) tournament.
I won! There was no one in my division, so I was matched with someone in my age group but in a higher weight class. He had about a 20 pound advantage. Since there were only two of us, it was best-of-three. Here are the two matches, along with my commentary:
First Match
Second Match1
Iâm obviously glad that I won my competition, but did it matter? I only fought one guy, if someone else signed up - or for a million other scenarios - the result could have been different. I won a $5 medal. Nothing changed in the world. But yet the competition still mattered to me. Â
BJJ allows you to experience the highest stakes with the lowest consequences. The only thing between breaking limbs, blowing out joints, or even death is the kindness of your training partner. Luckily, youâre extremely unlikely to run into sadistic partners - everyone Iâve rolled with wants both of us to walk away unhurt after. A BJJ roll is a unique situation that allows you to see how you respond under extreme stress and pressure. One of my favorite quotes is from Heart of Darkness:
âI don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.â
â Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
There is a lot to not like about BJJ. Another person trying to dominate you, getting squished under heavier people, the vast quantities of sweat - no one does BJJ for the physical sensations. To someone on the outside, you might think the attractor is the competition. And Iâm sure the opportunity to be the best is the driver for some people. But for me, itâs because BJJ is a mirror. Itâs âthe chance to find yourself.â Am I willing to put the time/effort/pain in to get better? Am I willing to keep challenging myself? Will my ego allow me to learn what I need to learn?
Itâs almost impossible to train BJJ without also learning to introspect.
In my second match, I was down by 9 points and my opponent had me in mount, one of the worst positions to be in. Since I had won the first match of the best-of-three, I could still lose this match and still have the chance to win gold. As I was getting literally crushed, the thought crossed my mind to phone in this match and save my energy for the third match. Iâm prouder of the decision to tell that voice to shut up than of actually winning the gold medal.
In BJJ you see what youâre made of in the direst of circumstances. The best part is, if you donât like what you see, tomorrow is a new you.
đ Writing of the Week:
Iâve been writing unpolished, around 100-word mini-essays. Just reflections on ideas from podcasts or things on the news. Here are the latest:
1ď¸âŁ Stress as a Challenge
2ď¸âŁ Democracy
đ Discoveries:
1ď¸âŁ My friend Leslie writes about how preparing for pain often exposes us to pain. Counterintuitively, openness and grace allow us to navigate life with more ease.
đ Why emptiness is the bravest approach
2ď¸âŁ Kris recaps a speech by Graham Weaver on living an asymmetric life. Playing not to lose is the easiest way to lose. He gives four principles on how to play to win.
đ Everything you want is on the other side of âworse firstâ
đŹ Quotes of the Week:
Two quotes from The Little Prince:
âPeople where you live,â the little prince said, âgrow five thousand roses in one garden, yet they donât find what theyâre looking for. And yet what theyâre looking for could be found in a single rose.â
âIt is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.â
đ¨âđ§ If you need help in your writing or creative journey, perhaps I can help you:
â Concept Crafting - Have an idea for an essay but not sure how to get it on paper?
â Whiteboard Ideation - Through a one-hour call, weâll unlock your ideas
â Course Catalyst - Get the most out of taking an online course
And one way to help me:
â Iâm always looking for feedback and with this tool you can give feedback anonymously.
You can find more of my writing at chr.iswong.com.
Questions, suggestions, complaints? Email me at [email protected]. Â
Feedback welcome.
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend or two. And feel free to send anything you find interesting to me!
Leaving you in peace,
Chris
My favorite part of the second match was my wifeâs reaction when the clock hits 0:00.
That was so good. I love the video breakdown. Now I can tell ppl not to mess with me, my friends a gold medalist in BJJ.
I also love the lesson about tomorrow being a new day to see what youâre made of.
Rad breakdowns. Do you do that frequently?
Iâve never reviewed film of my training or matchesâŚhavenât competed in a while though. It seems useful though.