🤯Unknown Unknowns #132 - Gold Medal

A couple of weeks ago I competed in my first Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) tournament.

I won!  There was no one in my division, so I was matched with someone in my age group but in a higher weight class.  He had about a 20 pound advantage.  Since there were only two of us, it was best-of-three.  Here are the two matches, along with my commentary:

First Match

Second Match¹

I’m obviously glad that I won my competition, but did it matter?  I only fought one guy, if someone else signed up - or for a million other scenarios - the result could have been different.  I won a $5 medal.  Nothing changed in the world.  But yet the competition still mattered to me.  

BJJ allows you to experience the highest stakes with the lowest consequences.  The only thing between breaking limbs, blowing out joints, or even death is the kindness of your training partner.  Luckily, you’re extremely unlikely to run into sadistic partners - everyone I’ve rolled with wants both of us to walk away unhurt after.  A BJJ roll is a unique situation that allows you to see how you respond under extreme stress and pressure.  One of my favorite quotes is from Heart of Darkness:

“I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.”

― Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

There is a lot to not like about BJJ.  Another person trying to dominate you, getting squished under heavier people, the vast quantities of sweat - no one does BJJ for the physical sensations.  To someone on the outside, you might think the attractor is the competition.  And I’m sure the opportunity to be the best is the driver for some people.  But for me, it’s because BJJ is a mirror.  It’s “the chance to find yourself.”  Am I willing to put the time/effort/pain in to get better?  Am I willing to keep challenging myself?  Will my ego allow me to learn what I need to learn?

It’s almost impossible to train BJJ without also learning to introspect.

In my second match, I was down by 9 points and my opponent had me in mount, one of the worst positions to be in.  Since I had won the first match of the best-of-three, I could still lose this match and still have the chance to win gold.  As I was getting literally crushed, the thought crossed my mind to phone in this match and save my energy for the third match.  I’m prouder of the decision to tell that voice to shut up than of actually winning the gold medal.

In BJJ you see what you’re made of in the direst of circumstances.  The best part is, if you don’t like what you see, tomorrow is a new you.

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📝 Writing of the Week:

I’ve been writing unpolished, around 100-word mini-essays.  Just reflections on ideas from podcasts or things on the news.  Here are the latest:

1️⃣ Stress as a Challenge

2️⃣ Democracy

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🔍 Discoveries:

1️⃣ My friend Leslie writes about how preparing for pain often exposes us to pain.  Counterintuitively, openness and grace allow us to navigate life with more ease.

🔗 Why emptiness is the bravest approach

2️⃣ Kris recaps a speech by Graham Weaver on living an asymmetric life.  Playing not to lose is the easiest way to lose.  He gives four principles on how to play to win.

🔗 Everything you want is on the other side of “worse first”

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💬 Quotes of the Week:

Two quotes from The Little Prince:

“People where you live,” the little prince said, “grow five thousand roses in one garden, yet they don’t find what they’re looking for. And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose.”

“It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.”

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You can find more of my writing at chr.iswong.com.

Questions, suggestions, complaints?  Email me at [email protected].  

Feedback welcome.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend or two.  And feel free to send anything you find interesting to me!

Leaving you in peace,

Chris

1. My favorite part of the second match was my wife’s reaction when the clock hits 0:00.